Posts
Question what is marriage?
According to the dictionary marriage
is the legal union of a Man and Woman as a husband and wife.
Personally I like this definition
better:
The Social Institution under
which a Man and Woman live as husband and wife by legal or religious commitments.
To me this points out the importance of unity. Legally and spiritually they
have come together to agree to live a committed life to one another. That is Powerful,
and A huge commitment!
So now that we know of marriage
and what it is about the question remains what its primary purpose?
Well the overall purpose for marriage
is to demonstrate the love that God has for man and the church through a Godly
covenant. Secondly Genesis tells us that man should not be alone, so it’s also
for companionship. Lastly for us a Man to reproduce, be fruitful and multiply.
Overall the Social Institution
under which Man and Woman live as husband and wife by legal or religious commitments
is makes marriage such an important choice, that must me strongly prayed about
and have been greatly pondered over. Knowing this, Marriage should not be
discussed, in my opinion, in such a cavalier manner. It seems to me that most
Women appear to know what they want in a spouse and therefore are quite anxious
to get to it and get married. I’m not saying
I am uncertain of what I want in a spouse that is not the case. I am quite
certain what I want, yet I know there is more to it than just knowing who you
want and believing that you are ready. There are many concepts to take into account.
You must be spiritually, financially, mentally, and physically ready for marriage.
This is something of great measure that requires your all on both sides.
Remember this is the person you gotta spend the rest of your life with.
Some of those points are the very
reason why I am not ready. Marriage is a very important investment in life. You
are taking on the responsibility (for Men) as a husband to be the ultimate provider,
protector and master planner. This requires for you to be greatly involved in
not just your life and well being but hers as well. You must be the family
accountant with her aide; you must plan and decide where you two will reside,
location, environment, cost etc. All these things must be considered. Marriage
is a beautiful thing but it is requires hard work.
This is not something to play
with. Sadly those who just jumped into the rose filled bed of marriage thinking
all will be alright experienced reality. According to statistics- the marriage rat
has declined and continues to do so in the U.S. The decline has increased to
50% from 1970-2010 in the annual number of marriages in every 100 unmarried
adult women. (*The State of Our Unions 2011, 60)
Now some of those marriages sadly
have ended because the couples did not have a key element which I believe to be
the most important aspect that all couples should have and if they don’t should
both consider. That key aspect is to first have a strong and true relationship
with God and our Savior Christ Jesus. You might say, how can you say that for certain,
well then take a look at this.
-There has been a higher rate of
satisfaction for married couples who both regularly maintain religious attendance
and feel that God is the center. (*The State of Our Unions 2011, 31, & 33)
The Importance of having a
relationship is, to me, the most important aspect to have down BEFORE entering
any type of relationship. God first, everything else revolves around him, this
is something that we must establish first. Maybe you might be comfortable in your
spiritual walk with God, but who is to say that your future spouse has that
established. It now becomes your responsibility to pray and fast on behalf of
your spouse. This then is another responsibility that you must understand is
required of you, BEFORE you even meet.
Sadly there have been many
African Americans specifically who attempted to marry and do the right things,
yet it has not been so successful. Statically: Compared to White Americans,
African Americans are more likely:
-to have children out of wedlock
-less likely to marry at all
-if they do marry then it is more
likely to end in divorce (*Marital Quality African American Marriages 2011)
I’m not so certain about you but
I do not like those odds and if it requires me to take my time and make sure all
is in place in order to avoid that statistic then I will. Don’t get me wrong I
do not desire to be alone; no one does. Man was not created to be alone (
Proverbs 18:22) but don’t be so anxious to be in a relationship or give advice
to your friend or colleague that they should get married as a solver of all
loner problems or attempt to play match maker. If you want to help, just be
prayerful that your friend or family member, whoever is of concern will find
the right spouse and will be prepared for marriage in all aspects.
